Friday, July 23, 2010

20 Truths of My Roaring 20's

So, I turn thirty this week. I’m fine about it. I say that I’m fine! Do I seem stressed? I am totally okay with this, ha ha! I don’t know why I’m making it such a big deal, it’s just a stupid birthday, it’s not like I’m worried about getting older, or dying. Age is just a number, and I’m young at heart, right? And I still look pretty young, right? Right?! I do have a few years left of being mistaken for being in my twenties!!! Yes, you can be very jealous of my baby face. Lol. But I know that looks fade, but personality is forever. I’d love to see a plastic surgeon give someone a sense of humor. But I’ll have that forever, and in ten years I’ll have an amazing surgeon too. I’ll be good to go!
Really, I think I’m pretty cool with turning thirty. Of course I’ve got my reservations. I’ve noticed a few signs of thirty plus…. the small beginnings of crow’s feet in the corner of my eye. The fact that I have an acute headache by 10 without my morning cup of coffee yet (thank you Lord for Starbucks!) This random vein that now comes to visit on my leg. And the fact that no matter what, my metabolism is slowly creeping away from me, soon I know it will be gone. And at the top of my paranoia of thirty, I mistook one of my highlights as a grey hair.
I hear from so many that your thirties are much better than your twenties were. I can say that the last two years of my life have been the highlight of my twenties, so I’m buying into this ‘your thirties are awesome’. You know what you want, you know more all around, so you feel less confused and lost. Everything’s easier, you have a game plan. It’s not like when you first get to college, and you think you know what you want to do with the rest of your life. You’ve already changed your mind a few times, and if you haven’t started your career yet, you defiantly KNOW what you’re working toward.
I am certain about one thing. I have been through so much in the last decade, that I’m positive that this Murphy’s law effect on my life is about to slow down, if not end. And I have learned so many wonderful things, so I figured I’d pass along a few of things that I know for certain. Here are 20 truths of my Roaring 20's.

1. Find the beat of your cadence, and march in style.
In my early twenties I left home and had entered a whole new world. I tried to combine the things I was taught, and the things that I felt. Sometimes feeling lost and not sure of what really ‘was’. I’d look to others to see views, and with prayer, thought I found my own way. There are many things that are black and white… but some are not. You have to find your personal convictions and stick to them. On both sides I was judged and teased about my ‘rhythm’ of life. But this is my song, and I will sing aloud! I found the people in life whose beats finished out my score. And of course, along the way there were little solos of others that came and went. I have learned to keep my pace, and most of all, I love my song!

2. Oftentimes you’re the thing preventing you from getting what you want.
I was a dreamer in my teens. I had all these ideas that I was going to go out and do something and change the world! Then I stepped into reality. Working, going to school, and not having my Mom there to pick up after me. I was always the hopeless romantic, so I don’t think it surprised anyone that I got married when I was 20. All I needed was love, and I then started thinking we instead of me. My goal was to be the perfect wife, and I set all my dreams aside. Randy was, and is, the love of my life. I only wish we would have waited longer to get married. It could have saved us both a lot of headaches. But, this was the path we chose, and it’s a shame that it took years later for us to discover who we were as individuals. All our focus was on us as a couple, and I can tell you that after this ‘discovery’ we have our own goals and dreams and are much stronger now as a couple than we ever were before. Now I find myself dreaming once again, and hopefully soon start to see my impact on the world around me.

3. Listen to your parents. Or if it really seems like they don’t know what they’re talking about, listen to mine.
In all my victories in life, and all my heartaches my parents were there! I am blessed with a Godly and Loving Mother and Father. My Mom is always the voice of reason in my head. And my Dad keeps me grounded. In the past two years, I’ve learned to actually listen to what they have to say, they have nothing but my best interest at heart. I love You Mom and Dad!

4. Don’t waste time on pity, accept and adapt.
I have all the reasons in the world to feel sorry for myself and at many times, I have. Where did it get me……… nowhere! I’ve learned, especially in the last three years, that somethings just are. It’s okay to feel upset, cry, get it out, and then move along. But you do have to deal with it, and accept it for what it is, doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it! Then you learn to adapt to it. For me finding out I have lupus was the biggest trial of my life thus far. For months I cried and felt sorry for myself, and expected for other so do the same. After a while nothing changed, I still had SLE. Now I’ve accepted this, doesn’t mean I like it, but it is here. I’ve had to change my life in many different ways; diet, rest, time I can work, even the amount of time I can be in the sun. After doing this for the past two years, it’s just my daily routine. I don’t think about it, I just do. I’m now adapted. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to have a steak every now and then, but I don’t get sad when I can’t have it, just like I don’t get sad when I have follow the speed limit. It just is. And life is much easier when you adapt than when you pity yourself.

5. Related: If you don’t like it, you can leave.
For things you can change like an unhappy relationship/friendship, a stupid movie, a boring concert, a crappy spin class. Life is so, so short. Which is another thing I learned in this kind of beam of light, revelatory way in my twenties, but it seems too clichéd to list. Life is sooooo much easier without all the fault finders out there. There are those people in live who thrive off drama, and well, don’t be one of them. Just move on and avoid the drama

6. Find the joy in everything!
Believe it or not, there is a funny joke in EVERYTHING. Just keep a smile on, and find the humor in it. I honestly believe the old saying that “laughter is the best medicine”. Who’s got time to be unhappy?!?!

7. Talk to everybody, and be kind.
That’s usually where the fun is, in talking. I will never meet a stranger. I find talking to people–at parties, in long lines, in crowds–makes everything fun and bearable. I love when connections are made, and you see firsthand that it really is a small world.
And when I say kind, I don’t mean nice. Nice can be really fake. Be genuine to people, and most of the time you will get that in return. You never know if someone is having a really hard day and that was the only kindness they have had.
Besides, what does it hurt to be kind……..

8. Be brave enough to say the hard things.
Thank you and I’m sorry are at the top of my list. Be humble! Hold yourself and your loved ones accountable in life. If I did or said something out of line I need to make amends, same goes for the company I keep. Life is short, etc, etc.

9. Let go of grudges.
Life is way, way easier without grudges. Although, I struggle with it myself, I have forgiven, I still don’t forget. So I need to keep working on this one, hope it not so hard in my thirties.

10. When you listen, try to let go of what you’re going to say next. Just listen.
Since I’m on the subject of what’s still hard for me to do, I thought I’d cover the bases. Sometimes you’ve gotta know when to just SHUT UP!

11. Be a little wreak less sometimes
Sometimes you just have to do something silly. Jump out of a plane, get a tattoo, or in my case, buy a pair of ridiculously expensive shoes! No harm, no foul and a lil fun

12. Just Dance!
It makes every situation better!!! Good or bad, it’s always a plus! (in those amazing ridiculously expensive shoes always is the best for me) ;)

13. Keep an open mind.
About everything: new people, politics, ideas, travel, food, clothes, music, sex, high art, low art, etc. I’m not ashamed to say, that I love me some Twilight! Books, movies, you name it, I love it. Fads are just as much fun as classics to me….. well not everything, still not a fan of skinny jeans. I bought them with an open mind, took them off with a chubby behind.

14. Be careful with credit cards.
Not only because of devious practices of CC companies, but also because using them is a slippery slope. Paying a bill with a card suddenly makes it easier to use, and then you’re using it in a pinch to get groceries, and then lunch and a new book, and then a birthday present and underwear and a manicure, and–whoops, debt. Subsidiary to this point are a few temporary hard-times fixes that helped me: ramen-with-an-egg stirred in makes a cheap, filling meal; selling clothes can turn up instant pocket money (CDs too); Craigslist jobs and waiting tables can help when you need work and dough right away. Needless to say, I thrilled that I am leaving my 20’s with zero credit card debt! WHOO HOO~

15. Don’t be afraid to be weird.
You don’t have to go all Gaga on us, unless that’s your thing, but mainly be honest about the specific stuff you’re into. Trust me; there are people out there who dig the same things as you. I myself am proud to be a tech geek. I feel like Christmas whenever a new Photoshop upgrade is released.

16. Work is a relationship.
In that you spend gobs of time with it, and it gives back in proportion to what you give it. Choose wisely and work hard. People may not always see and recognize all the work you do, but they will point out what you don’t do. So work hard with a good attitude.

17. Everything is better with Music
I feel sometimes like there is a soundtrack to my life; cleaning house, exercising, romantic dinner, crying sessions, showers, driving, walking the dog, and so much more. Take some time and try out different types of music. I never listen to hip hop before I met Ran, and now it’s always on my top rated. HA, I’ve even recently went back to country music, which I hated due to the overuse of it when I lived in Nashville as a kid. Basically, as I said, everything is better with music! (Invest in your own iPod)

18. Speak carefully.
People hear what you say, even just your random chatter (which I am HORRIBLE at), and they remember it! Also, I try to practice ‘think before you speak’ when I am mad. I can have quite the little smart mouth at times. Words are wonderful, and sometimes hurtful. Even when you think no one is listening you’d be surprised! I guess I’d assumed that people were only listening to like ten percent of what I said due to the fact that I just talk a lot. Now I try to speak precisely, and mean what I say, because people are listening more often than I think. This will save you a lot of heartache.
And as my father use to tell me ‘Love bug, you only have so many words, and then you die’ lol Like I said, I use to talk a lot, now I just make sure I’m not just wasting words with random idle chatter.

19. Just because you’re good at it doesn’t mean you have to do it
People always say, ‘wow you’re really good!’ This could be true, or you can end up like those confused bad singers on AI. If it’s true and your good at it, lovely, doesn’t mean it can’t just be a hobby. Do the things you want to do, even if it doesn’t come naturally. Working hard towards something is nothing to be ashamed about. Yes, things that are natural to me would be easier, but where’s the challenge in that ;)

20. Time speeds up as you get older.
It’s so true, it’s scary!!!!! I’ve survived my twenties. I’ve had a few broken bones, hearts and dreams here and there, but I have made it to my thirties happy!
And now, I’m off to make my last irresponsible decisions. While I’m gone, YOU out there! Tell me, what did you learn in your twenties? Or thirties

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